Crying is a human’s biological response to emotional or physical pain and irritation. According to the Cleveland Clinic, it involves tears, a person’s vocal cords and the sounds it makes, facial muscle movements and expressions, and changes to someone’s breathing and body language. 

Tears are such a complex topic, a symbol of strength and weakness, alluring and repulsive. To some, they are something that should never be publicized because they represent feelings that aren’t supposed to be shared. To others, they are a healthy way to cope and process the feelings they have. They can be comfortable for people to see and deal with, or they can be what people go through life trying to avoid. Tears are the physical representation of the most vulnerable state of humans.  

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I remember my older brother had a friend growing up who came over for a play date. He had something medically wrong with him, prohibiting his body from properly producing sweat. The boys played outside running around and climbing up the swing set in our backyard. Meanwhile, my mom watched them through the kitchen window, timing them and ensuring that they were taking breaks while also drinking the required amount of water. I assumed the boys had a fun time together based on their smiles and talkative nature, but my mom was too nervous to ever invite the boy back over. I haven’t seen him since that day, so I’m not sure if their friendship ever progressed, but I always wondered what it was like for my brother’s friend when he cried. How could he know how to cry if he had never even known what it was like to sweat? Perhaps he cries for what he longs to know or maybe it’s for those who never come back.  

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Crying doesn’t always have to include tears. There are many medical conditions preventing people from producing tears properly.  But when it does, the tears fall when the lacrimal, or tear, glands in the tear system make fluid faster than older fluid can drain through the tear duct system. Cleveland Clinic explains that this extra fluid builds up; the eyelids are unable to contain all of it, leaving the fluid to overflow the rim of the eye lid and slip out onto the cheeks. It is when they reach the surface that we call them tears.  

Tears can be an overwhelming sensation under the most unexpected circumstances. Unexpected and unable to be prevented, like an earthquake when you live on the fault line in California.  

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The first time I went back home as a freshman in college was to surprise my best friend for her birthday at the University of Missouri. I was feeling a bit friend-sick at this point, missing the feeling of belonging and the constant comfort that I had in my high school friends. I was feeling overwhelmed and behind in the college friendship-making process while also being in a new and foreign town with little to no familiar faces.  

When my other best friend picked me up as I arrived at their college, she started crying when I hugged her. I was caught off guard because why would anyone be crying in a happy time like this?  

An hour later, I hid behind the wall, jumping out to see my best friend for the first time in two months, and I understood. I felt the stream of tears down my cheeks before I could comprehend that I was crying. The rush of emotion and wave of tears that crashed over me was foreign because I’m not a big crier, especially publicly and during a joyful moment.  

There was nothing I could have done to prevent the wet and messy tears that overcame me. I still can’t fully comprehend why I sobbed like I did when I was wrapped in her arms or why my other best friend cried as I hugged her. But I can understand that when you have people who you love as much as I love them, you're comfortable enough to trust your honest emotions. I think that was my body’s reaction to finally feeling at home after longing for it for so long. I cried for the sisters I got to choose and their always welcoming embrace.  

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There are many synonyms for the word crying; weeping, sobbing, bawling, sniveling, wailing, welling, tearing up. Cleveland Clinic explains they all have a different connotation and representation of the emotions being felt by the crier. 

But most of the time they are expected, like the excitement in your puppy when you come home from work. Whether they are expected by yourself or by the people standing around you, staring. 

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Sitting in the front row, legs crossed tightly in my cheap black dress, I stared down at my hands that gripped a tissue so hard my knuckles began to turn white. I listened to the preacher talk about how much of an amazing woman she was, like he had known her for decades. I barely felt my tears as they welled up in my eyelids and began to fall slowly onto my cheek. That had been such a common occurrence the past few days, so it was almost weird if they weren’t there. I could feel strangers’ eyes on the back of my head and the sides of my face as our family and friends looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to grab another tissue as the stream continued.  

Some of the tears were hot, fast, and angry, but most were sorrowful. I’m not sure if it was the words the preacher said, the fact that I was never going to hear another one of her stories, or the idea that my poor mother had just lost her mom in the midst of grieving her recently passed father. Whatever the cause, I wasn’t the only one in the room reaching for the thoughtfully placed box of tissues at the end of the pews. I cried for the empty seat at my wedding, her laugh I was starting to forget, and for knowing I was going to have to see other people with their grandma.  

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According to the Cleveland Clinic, there are many factors such as culture or upbringing, significant events, fatigue or sleep deprivation, hormones, relationships, mental health conditions or neurological conditions that affect the reason, length, and amount of tears a person cries. 

Occasionally, they can be the unplanned comfort and relief that your body has been exhaustingly pleading for. The prescription to feeling better that no doctor could have prescribed.  

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I was sitting down against the wall in the corner of my friend’s empty apartment porch as the chilly night air blew against my bare arms. I held my phone up to my ear listening to the guy I thought wanted me tell me he “just can’t try anymore” because “it’s gotten too hard.” I wasn’t surprised; I had been expecting this call for a while now, naively waiting for him to realize that he was going to have to be the one to end this. I thought that was fair considering he was the one who decided I wasn’t worth the bare minimum. So I sat there numb, silently listening with dry eyes and a twisted face wondering if this was going to help me feel free again or keep me on the constant verge of tears when I repeatedly had the same conversation about him to my best friends.  

I wanted to cry, to show that I care and that the last six months weren’t as insignificant as he was making them seem, but you can’t force a show. So, the tears that I finally cried two days after the phone call were a relief. They came as I replayed the conversation in my head allowing myself to dissect his words and feel their impact.  

My tears were for finding out that a fairy-tale type of love might be hard to find, especially with new self-worth issues. I hoped the tears that I shed would help me shed off the memory of finally letting someone into my heart. I was finally relieved of the mental and physical exhaustion that was weighing me down.  

I cried for the girl who lost a good friend, but a bad boyfriend. And I cried for the girl who romanticized the crumbs that were given to her even though she was starving.  

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Studies show that although people feel worse immediately after crying, about 90 minutes after crying, they feel better than they did before. 

Now I think, what if we never gave the simple act of crying or the very concept of tears as much, or as little, power as we do? Perhaps they wouldn’t be analyzed so tediously with such gentle care. Maybe all the emotions would mean the same, and the tears running down people’s cheeks would be subconsciously ignored.  

But we do. And emotions aren’t linear, but neither are the streaks on people’s cheeks. 

Work Cited

“Crying: Why We Cry & How It Works.” Cleveland Clinic, 9 Jan. 2025, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/crying.